It’s just on two weeks until the podcast of The Spiral Tattoo is released. Here, then is chapter one…

Chapter One

The breasts were rather perky.

As soon as I had the thought, I regretted it. It was a tasteless thought, considering the owner of the breasts was dead, and she was lying in mud and rubbish. She was also in an alley in one of the worst parts of town. I comforted myself with the thought that at least this time I hadn’t said anything out loud, and that Elanore would have no cause to look at me reproachfully, or worse, let rip with her rather caustic tongue. I glanced sideways at her and saw that she was looking at me with arched eyebrows. That was all rather difficult to do since I was perched on her shoulder.

“What?” I think I sounded whiny, but then I was feeling like I had been caught out in some terrible act. My partner Corporal Elanore Fursk, a Troll who I felt thought she was an Elf, was prone to making me feel that way. Sure I had the better education, the better breeding, the higher intellect, all by virtue of being Eleniu. Even with my family background and the training provided by Royal Magic Academy, she still always had a way of making me feel like the uneducated monster.

“I didn’t say anything.” I said defensively.

“No, but you were thinking it,” disapproval dripped from her every syllable. How does she do that I wondered?

“Last time I checked, Troll’s, even as unusual as yourself, are not mind-readers.” What a lame comeback I thought and snorted. What had I been reduced to.

“I don’t need to be a mind-reader to know what you’re thinking.” She returned, her eyebrows raising up and down expressively.

Elanore and I have been partners for nearly five years, walking the streets of the fair city of Delvenport as members of the City Guards, so I didn’t doubt it. I generally knew what she was thinking too, so that makes it fair. She had joined the guards in an effort to gain some respectability. She was unique for a Troll. Somehow her brain had made connections no others had. She had learnt to read, not only common, but several other languages. Where and how she won’t say. She could converse on the various philosophical debates with insight and most alarmingly humour. She also enjoyed live theatre, which was quite frankly bizarre. How anyone could like theatre I don’t know.  No wonder that when she arrived in civilisation she baulked at the offered job opportunities. Being a hired thug just didn’t fit. Her acceptance into the city guard a decade ago was something of a legend now.

(more…)

The cover art for The Spiral Tattoo is supplied by Flynn-The-Cat: You can see some of her stuff here and also here.